My Spiritual Sojourn As Our World Burns


Last year on my birthday I decided to rekindle the pursuit of spiritual matters and see if there were any hope of keeping a belief in higher power alive. I gave myself one year to see what happens; see if something moves me back to the studies that made me ponder beyond our lives on Earth, or maybe I would distort into a zealous following of Appalachian snake handling…maybe venture to the Minnesota Temple of Eck and revive that old 60’s cult, Eckankar.

I started rummaging through teachings and philosophies I had laid aside about three decades ago, telling myself back then to revisit spiritual matters when I got older-if I made it that long (which I did…proof being this absurd blog). It seemed easy enough for me to let go of religious doctrine back then, back in the 80s, back during the years of Ronald Reagan. Most of the public at that time were busy being yuppies, the 80s equivalent of current day Hipsters. Spiritual organizations and mystic teachings were not among the trendy things people craved in the 80s. A lot of folks had their fill of following soulful paths to enlightenment back in the 60s and 70s and wanted to pursue gourmet food, drink giant mixed drinks and line dance at clubs. I don’t fully even recall a lot of the chatter on the street from that period (as far as spiritual matters go), but I do recall there being an awful lot of political actions going on. The pendulum of our nation’s politics had swung back right after a period of shame with Jimmy Carter. Everyone was tired of Carter’s failed attempt at stopping inflation, gas wars and lines at the pump, and to end his final year as President, Iran captured a group of U.S. citizens. Americans wanted blood but Carter couldn’t supply, so, Reagan was elected and the hostages were released. The era of young Republicans grew, and they looked the other way and paid no attention to the Iran/Contra scandal or other issues opposition would bring up. These Reagan supporters felt everything was movin’ and groovin’ in America and they had paychecks in their hands, so things were copacetic.

I was younger then and kept abreast of politics but laid back on participation, for the most part. I also set aside my search for life’s meaning. I was a family man with a wife and children. Things were going okay and I could pigeon-hole the doctrine of the Tao Te Ching in my mind for later. Later eventually showed itself to me, after the nation swung back and forth through a spectrum of presidents, Senators and political lizards that went (ideologically) from left to right; Reagan to Bush to Clinton, then Bush the Second…on to Obama…then…

Good leaders and inept ones and we still have large groups of citizens saying all politicians are crooked. That may be, but there are degrees of how crooked a person is and if you put that on a sliding curve of performance, there are defined ‘good’ leaders and ‘bad’ leaders in this country’s history. America’s current leader, the Crimson King, is a unanimous choice winner to receive the title of our worst. We are being governed by some emergency standby crew of knuckle fuckers, scrambling around Washington trying to plug up holes the president keeps creating in public relations. It’s to the point of going beyond the concern of Republicans as to how this man will reflect their image to the voting public. Most people have begun to believe that true Republicans are not associating themselves with Trump; everyone’s distancing themselves from the man, and he just storms about lighting little fires. Imagine the pressure his current staff must feel patching up the wrong Trump keeps creating…yeah, I know, shed a fucking tear for the monsters who helped support him. Donald goes off to play golf, steps in now and then to do something-and he has no barriers about what he might do. In the last few days he launched missiles at Syria and Afghanistan, meet with China, who he badmouthed as the bad guys throughout his entire presidential campaign, played golf a lot and worked hard to hide his past tax information.

All this madness going on and you wonder if I still have an interest to seek a higher power out there? Now more than ever, folks. The logic of humans trying to make a better world seems almost pointless. No matter how good a plan we have for society to run, shit keeps falling victim to chaos, and chaos does not play by the rules of physics. You’d imagine, with all our intellect and intelligence, we’d do the right thing…but power and greed is a variable that poisoned our governing system and no one knows how to stop the transgressions of the Crimson King. We may not need to throw out the ideals of Democracy or Capitalism, but we certainly need to throw out the asshats running ours right now. As ridiculous as some feel it is to seek out an ethereal Supreme Being, I can’t say there is much satisfaction seeing what humans are letting happen to this nation. I’ve felt the pull of truth coming from moments in meditation, when I’ve let my thoughts of politics and the woes of injustice on our streets leave my mind. There is an answer out there and I will continue to pursue it. That answer is not coming from our leaders. That answer is somewhere beyond them.

Welcome to the Church.


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