Four For the Fourth and the Grateful Eight pt. 1


Tuesday evening, November tenth in Milwaukee, Wisconsin; the town that made cheap American beer famous. This was the location for the fourth Republican Presidential debate of 2015 and the scheduled event was so massive they had to split it into two debates. Karl Rove referred to them as the ‘kiddy debate and the grownup debate’, and that may be the most humorous thing I have ever heard come out of his mouth. Rove loves being a snark but I wasn’t there for him. That lizard had his time in the White House behind a shroud of noxious mist, hidden from the general public during those years inside the G. Bush II Administration. I was tuned in for the dozen candidates who would make yet another attempt to win a right wing coup of voters. I had myself positioned here in the Church with live coverage on the computer, multiple tabs extended for online cross reference, lined notebook, pen for notes, phone for texting, high octane coffee and some chronic. Those candidates still in the running but lagging in the polls were split off for this early debate. A lot of you may view this as an embarrassing defeat in the face of the public but I see an advantage behind being split off from the same stage as the more popular candidates. The four lagging in the race were former Arkansas Governor Michael Dale “Mike” Huckabee, Louisiana Governor and former US Congressperson Piyush “Bobby” Jindal, New Jersey Governor Christopher James “Chris” Christie (donned ‘the Big Man’ here at the Church) and former Pennsylvania Senator Richard John “Rick” Santorum (diagnosed ‘insane’ here at the Church). Each man had the opportunity to get back to the grownup debate if they played good numbers here in Milwaukee. Rand Paul somehow made the cut for the later debate; the debate of the Grateful Eight. Any one of these four had the opportunity to shine and overtake Rand Paul’s position…and they knew it. They had to score good tonight.

If I can give credit to Fox News for anything it would have to be their online (streaming) coverage of the debates. This is how the public should be allowed access to seeing the debates. Free, online service without a hitch to some pay per view or cable access only system. This is for the presidency of the United fucking States and we all need to be educated-or at least informed. Thanks Fox…but I’m not here for you either.

Lou Dobbs ushered in both debates like the Ringmaster he can be, and the early debate with the Four for the Fourth began. Each man started and it wasn’t long before position was set on the evening’s race. Christie started out weak, almost timid, but shook that off and spent the majority of the evening throwing out the Hillary Clinton card. He blamed her for everything short of the Holocaust. This strategy of attacking Clinton gave him the most audible cheers from the audience so he stuck with that plan. Jindal’s plane was to engage The Big Man and hammered at Chris Christie a number of times. He got more vocal than he’d been allowed in previous debates and later managed to sneak in the ‘we’re stealing from our kids’ line to give that compassion to the crowd. I don’t know how voters will respond to this growling Louisiana Governor but he was staying with that approach. Let’s watch and see where that gets him.

I think Mike Huckabee had the best quote of the night; “crazy as the price of bread”. Thanks Mike, I enjoyed that line. You’re fucking nuts, duder. He was pretty somber and less vicious for this debate. He said he was thankful but just didn’t show much fire in his belly. He didn’t have that onstage fervor for killing the terrorists or shaming the wicked. Perhaps he sees the writing on the wall and just wants to enjoy his minute in the limelight before bowing out and re-emerging to the public on some cable yak show.

Rick Santorum has too little, too late. He came off sounding too abstract and tried to convey assertive body language to those watching, but to me he only came off as if he were jacked up on adderall and whiskey. He kept using bad metaphors and had the shaky mannerisms of someone on coke. I urge you to go back and watch clips of how frantic, how desperate he gets. They were all desperate that evening. Desperation rode the clock and soon their debate would came to a close. The theme of questions was supposed to be revolved around economic issues. The candidates danced and distracted the camera with elongated speech that led nowhere. Every one of their responses in regards to fixing the broken VA system had a side distraction to the question, and no solution. Not one of them vowed they would attempt to fix the VA. Other answers about economics spouted statistics and a few diverse ideas on solving the financial situation of America. There were a few breakoff moments from straight income chatter; Christie did a call out on China, spouting on about how he would do a flyover and taunt their ass if any technological attacks on our country took place.  I had my scorecards pretty well filled on these four men when the debate came to an end so I guess you could say they did a pretty good job on stage. A quick breather and it would be on to the main one of the evening; the Grateful Eight….


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