Campaign 2016: Bizarre Obstacles on the Race Track

deeznuts The race continues, now taking on some twisted detour as new obstacles are thrown on the track. Republicans stand in a quandary over what the hell they should-or can-do in order to pull a win out of this election. They cling to Donald Trump as he appears the front runner in opinion polls. Who can say whether they are guided by genuine belief in him? The Washington Post ran a story online about the closest runner to Trump on the Republican side, which is a candidate known as Deez Nuts. Nuts was the masterful creation of a fifteen year old kid out of Iowa who momentarily has taken the polls by storm. Albeit the candidate can’t legally serve in office, his popularity with the public spells out their frustration with voting choices. Different generations have had their comic candidates pop up: Pat Paulsen, Joe Walsh…on the Democrat side we have the announcement of a cat named Limberbutt McCubbins announcing his run for the White House. Hillary Clinton has enough issues right now with the surge of popularity for Bernie Sanders; all she needs is for a fucking feline to beat her in a poll to send her off the deep edge.

The Trump dilemma is currently another issue for the race, as far as the clandestine Republican Overseers are concerned. This is not the candidate they want in the race. Their liking is more for the security of a buffoon like Jeb Bush. Bush they can control, but Trump? Donald’s brash attitude grows each day he’s up in the polls. He is the popular choice for neo-nazi organizations and the Ku Kux Clan but that statistic is overlooked by trueblood Republicans. The problems with Trump don’t seem to phase the common voter, it’s the power behind the GOP which finds him so offensive. Trump could certainly accomplish some bold moves in office that would address a lot of the issues conservatives are adamant about, but at what cost? What side effect from the little Bronx rich boy would pop up in his Administration?

All other candidates have fallen far behind the front of the race. Cruz, Rubio,……Huckabee.. they see themselves fading on the poll boards and nothing short of biting the head off a live chicken will put them back in the mainstream. This is a troubling sign for those old school Republican puppeteers because they’ve been around long enough to know the signs of an election. By now they should have a solo candidate selected to start attacking the Democrats, which is what has them concerned. It’s like they’re trying to ask the public if they’re sure this is the guy they want to go with….the man’s bound to get in a brawl with Clinton which could end up painting an ugly picture of Republicans. Trump would most likely end up calling her a cunt on the air and in spite what you may feel about the woman, tossing something that offensive on the air is a huge problem they don’t want to have. The Republicans lost enough ground when Trump called Mexicans coming into this country a bunch of rapists. If he keeps offending groups the only noticed support the GOP will be able to show are the skinheads and the Klan.

Obstacle like Deez Nuts or other bogus candidates ( or legitimate candidates for that matter) to come along can be overcome by either party at this point in the race. One more real refinement on the Democratic side and they’ll have their candidate for sure. Numbers have Donald Trump far enough ahead to be considered the conservative choice so but what exactly will voters do if Trump gets thrown out on some unforgivable stunt? Say he pulled a Bill Cosby and the press finds out he has some horrible dark secret hidden that surfaces. This will force them to go back to one of those left behind, like Jeb Bush or Carly Fiorina, a giant step back in the race. Who would voters go for then? They almost have to go with Trump at this point.

I really want to see a one-on-one debate with Trump and Clinton though. That’s a car crash I really want to witness. If some network wants to grab ratings, that would be the debate to schedule, just for the sake of entertainment. That kind of a bitch-slapping contest should last a good ninety minutes, have guest commentators like Jon Stewart and Ted Nugent-make it a real horror show. Why stop at promoting gag candidates like Deez Nuts or the cat. Throw a robot in the mix, get people really scared because folks…..we really need to be scared.


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