16
May
14

Vampire Chronicles: Initial Q and A with the Sanguinarian

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I sat at a table near the front of my newly christened watering hole; a place so close to my rental that I could stumble back blind drunk if need be. This evening I use it to sit down and sip on some good scotch ( a rare find in most small time taverns…they usually stock some piecemeal off-brand shit that tastes liked watered down kerosene) and gather my notes to write this posting for the Church; the vampire observations continue courtesy of research and the openness of a late twenties girl I call Red. Red is a blood drinker, classified as a sanguinarian. I have recently obtained a loose promise from someone to introduce me to the other type of vampire – a psychic – but until that ship floats in I feel I should go ahead with what I’ve found out about sangs.

Red made sure I agreed to keeping her anonymity as she leads a normal life in one regard and does not want to deal with being exposed to those closest to her. No problem. I’m here for enlightenment and education on the subject. She initially responded to a blanket request I threw out on the internet for vampires to get in touch with me. She politely agreed to answer questions as long as I respected that privacy.

DA: Red. I suppose I should call you that as that’s how your name is posted in the email – if there is a different name you would rather I use let me know. I will attempt, above all, to respect your anonymity but will need a name for reference point for any blog posts I write….again, I will use the name Red when referring to you unless there is a better name you would have me use.

RED: Actually I like the name Red, let’s stick with that for now. It’s not my real name of course but, that’s what my father used to call me because of my hair. 

DA: I find myself to be as ignorant as the common person and wish to start at square one understanding who you are. I can gather descriptions from the web about the definition of a sanguinarian and vampires, but I would like to hear, from your standpoint, how you would describe yourself. If you could approximate your age this would be good reference.

RED: I’m a 27 year old female. 

DA: Is the term ‘vampire’ offensive to you or can I call you that? You use the term sanguinarian (distinguishing yourself from Psions (psychic vampires) but I didn’t know if this is to differentiate yourself from the other clan or if vampire is a derogatory term-like calling an Inuit ‘Eskimo’.

RED: I guess I’m just so used to calling myself a sanguinarian. Probably also to differentiate myself from a psychic vampire. We are the same, but I feel we’re different too. I see us as having the same craving, the same “energy deficiency” they just feed differently. I’m a blood feeder and they feed from prana/aura energy.

DA: Could you give me a brief idea what your life was like prior to your awakening and if you can recall, what exactly it was the awakened you

RED: It seems long ago. I miss those days.
I came from a normal middle class family who were all very loving and caring. I grew up with an older sister and a younger brother. My oldest brother is 10 years older then me, so he was always away at college or different states. As a teenager, of course, the world always revolves around you. For the most part I was a happy, silly, outgoing girl around my friends and family. I guess I should mention that though I was a happy person I had a cutting/self mutilation obsession. It started around early teens. I would cut my left wrist, making sure not to go too deep, just surface wounds. Could of been from frustration, anger, or a day where I just felt the need to cut and see blood. It became an addiction/fascination.
I started noticing changes around the time I turned 19. There could have been little things before then, but I guess 19 is when I felt ill the most. I got headaches a lot which turned to migraines.  I ALWAYS had some kind of issue going on with me. I love my mother to death, but she would get to the point where it got on her nerves if I said I felt sick. She said I had turned into a hypochondriac. I’ve always had problems sleeping. It seemed to get worse with age though. Ever since I was a child I’ve never been a morning person so I was late a lot to school.
One night, I can’t remember when,  I was with my sister and her boyfriend. We were watching “the Big Lebowski”. I started feeling very light headed, almost to the point of blacking out and my heart was pounding. I had to have my mom (who was annoyed from being woken up at 1am), sister and her boyfriend take me to the hospital because at the time what I thought was me having a heart attack was actually me having a huge panic attack. 
As I was in the hospital room that night I think is what changed me or started the “process.” Everyone (my family) was trying to talk and laugh to calm me down as they stood around the bed I was in. Two nurses came into the room to draw blood for tests and one decided to put an IV in my arm, just in case I would have to stay over night. The first nurse had trouble finding my vein, fishing around in my arm with her needle, so the other nurse suggested putting the IV in the top of my hand, which took. As she filled up her vials she talked with my sister about traveling. The nurse must of not been paying attention because she looks down at my hand and said, “oh my god! Dont look down!” and of course, I did.
As everyone in the room gasped I looked at my hand and my blood was literally pouring out of the open IV that she had forgot to close off before switching vials. I remember feeling completely calm about it. Seeing the blood drip off my fingers making a small pool on the floor. It was the strangest feeling. I was excited almost and calm at the same time. She closed it quickly and wiped off my hand with alcohol swabs apologizing. The doctor came in after to tell me all was fine, I just had panic disorder and had a big panic attack.
I went home that night with blood still stained on my hand where she forgot to clean It off. That’s when my cravings started…One night I remember being upset. I had a strong urge to see blood and feel that feeling I felt when I would cut myself. I hadn’t done it for a long time, which would of been half a year or a little more. It was like a ritual when I’d decide to cut myself, making “preparations.” I made the first slice across my wrist and I loved the first moments when blood would start to appear out of nowhere. My heart raced with excitement as I drew the blade over the same wound once more, deepening the cut. More blood. To my surprise, I didnt want to stop hacking away at my skin (as twisted as that sounds). I started getting the same tight feeling in my throat. Without really thinking about it I licked my skin and sucked at my wound. I wanted more, so, (trying not to get too carried away) I opened the cut deeper. It was an intense feeling at first then turned into a calming, content feeling.
It pretty much took off from there.

 

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