Why I Got Kicked Out of the NRA Convention pt. 1


I really hadn’t planned on  attending this shootfest but since I was in the neighborhood I thought why not? Perhaps I could get the skinny on how the National Rifle Association threw a party. This was the last day of the convention here in Indianapolis so I wasn’t expecting any grandiose hoopla. I had been told there was a protest movement Saturday by Moms Demand Action protestors but I had prior commitments that didn’t allow the possibility of going to that event; so here it was, Sunday afternoon and my search for a place to eat lunch led me close enough to the convention center to see the huge banners outside announcing “9 Acres of Guns and Gear”…..that sold me. I couldn’t resist seeing that much harbored weaponry and bad social skills in one place.

The first obstacle to overcome was the twenty dollar entrance fee, which I wasn’t about to pay. I mean I was definitely curious about what could be going on inside but money is money-I wasn’t about to shell out that much to feed my curiosity. Nevertheless I decided to see how far I could get inside before being turned away. As I wandered up to the entrance I viewed a convoy of tour buses parked along the street with huge graphics of a Bald eagle flying in front of the American flag and the barrel of some high performance rifle pointing skyward. They came to pump up the excitement factor of attendees with bold imagery and aggressive slogans; “100% Accurate. 100% Rugged. 100% American”….what a shill. I casually strolled further into the convention center, right in front of this usher in a wheelchair who tried to stop me but he was in a wheelchair so…I took full advantage of my leg up on him and sped up my pace leaving him behind me somewhere still calling out. Once I got in the main thrust of activity I kept pushing the limits to see how far I could get into the bowels of this event before they discovered me. Lines of people stood at the counters to get your membership money to the NRA, a paltry fee of five hundred dollars to become a lifetime member. You could scale down and get the five year membership for one hundred dollars as well as add and upgrade to your lifetime membership, which I had no idea what privilege that might get you. Regardless I pushed on, hiding in plain sight, deeper into the event’s epicenter.

I strolled through the dining area where folks were feasting on pulled pork and things covered in runny cheese and started spying out my next barricade to get through. Up ahead were the doorways into the main acreage of weapons that was being monitored by a host of red jackets that were backed up by various law enforcement personnel, checking entry badges for all men women and children entering the main floor. This became my personal dare, to see if I could manage to get in there without being stopped – reminded me of the yesteryear times my friends and I would crash the gates at concerts to get in for free. I had to wait for just the right moment so I meandered about the assorted booths and tables set up just outside the main arena; displays of lethal looking rifles to view and hold on display. I walked over and picked up a AR-10A Free Float Carbine from one of the display tables. This attendee standing next to me said “you could really kick some ass with that thing, couldn’t you?” I glared at him with a smile and said “I wouldn’t know when to stop!”…..I hope he appreciated my sarcasm.

I couldn’t believe I had gone this long without being questioned for my credentials. Then again I filled the criteria of being just another fan in the crowd. I don’t throw up any red flags until people start talking to me – that’s typically when the problems arise…today would be no different. I heard a toned down microphone announcing to buy a raffle ticket up ahead and get in on the chance to win a free gun. “Ladies” this carney voiced fellow was rambling over the loudspeaker, “you know you want a gun – more than you want a husband. Come on by our booth for your chance to win a free gun.” Just then I saw my golden opportunity. Both red jackets were off their door and talking with some family asking for help which left that particular entrance open. I put on my best cool and strolled inside.


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