My Shag Lounge Political Nirvana Pt. fini


My first encounter with a caustic Asian woman took place in Austin, Texas back in the late 70’s. I was fresh out of a divorce and living in the barracks at Bergstrom AFB serving a four year stint with the United States Air Force. Wednesday nights were dime beer night at the Still, some shoddy disco bar where GIs felt welcome (at least their money was welcome). It’s not that I was a huge disco fan – you could either stay on base and watch some dribble on television or you could hitch a ride with anyone leaving the barracks at night to go wherever they deemed. My friend, Brian, had a Firebird he borrowed from one of the two girls he dated and she liked to go disco dancing, so quite often I ended up in a car full of guys headed to the Still.

Now being newly divorced had left me with an ‘all women are shit’ attitude. All I wanted was to be left alone with a head full of crank and a table full of Dixie cups filled with beer. I was forming a protective mental shell around myself when this Indonesian chick in a sarong and cheap costume jewelry plops down at my table. She starts talking with dialogue straight out of some Vietnam war era flick.

“What’s the matter GI?”

“Oh pardon me. I’m okay, I just want to be left alone.”

“Come on, you know you want to dance with me. What’s the matter, some girl dump you?”

She keeps jumping back and forth between insulting me and prodding me to make a move on her. I kept getting more and more frustrated and the last thing you want to do to someone with a head full of crystal is piss them off. She finally broke the last brick in my barrier of etiquette and I start laying into her heavy. “Get the fuck away from me you slut, I want nothing to do with you!” I could have gone racial but that wouldn’t have helped the matter at all. She kept fighting with me, getting really loud and eventually I had one of the bouncers throw her out. She continued cursing me and pointing her finger at me as security drug her outside.

The similarity in attitude from this Korean girl at the Shag flashed my mind back to that Texas/Oriental encounter – the difference this time being, I had an outlet. My Latino friend had managed to win her over with his constant doling of compliments to her, all manner of sexual suggestions included. She was eating it up and soon he had her on the stripper’s pole for him. This is beautiful I thought to myself. An outlet away from both these monsters. I pulled him aside while he was being distracted by her and insist he give me some cash for bus fare. I said he could go off with her and I would be fine so, he had no problem giving me the two dollars and twenty five cents for the bus….he got off cheap.

Riding back on the Colfax express I did a quick scan to ensure there were no potential violent crazies on board, then slipped back to that moment of perception my friend evoked inside me. He was so fucking right and it was that simple. This was not the answer to all our country’s problems, but it could be the starting point to begin rising back to more notable prosperity. Admit to the public that yes, politicians have been assholes for quite some time and it is now time to turn around and begin being accountable for your actions. Start working at fixing our nation’s problems and stop wasting so much time running your re-election campaigns. Talk is already buzzing in Republican quarters about what they can do to act on the recent flare of popularity Rand Paul is creating. Sarah Palin has come out saying she may again run for political office (why? So you can quit again?) – and don’t even get me started about the Democrats in office. Those milquetoast do nothing motherfuckers continue to whine about how the Republicans won’t cooperate with them to get anything done. I don’t know what secret powers the GOP had when they were the majority in rule but they managed to walk all over the Dems and pull shit off constantly….take a page out of their play book and start getting more done. Stick to a more basic plan of action and stop kowtowing to every special interest group that wants to dissuade you into acting on their agenda alone. States are slowly converging on a lot of special interest laws and with their overwhelming numbers can turn the face of federal mandate (i.e. Colorado legalizes pot, which can open the door to more and more states following, which will create a lax in federal law) so why not focus the power of our nation on fixing health care and infrastructure? Our railroads are falling apart. The power grids of the U.S. are unstable. I don’t expect immediate results but in a time when you can get our nation to click a phone and vote on which fucking dancer should win on tonight’s episode of “Dancing Cause Nothing Else Is On”, you can certainly turn around some course of action quicker than it has taken.

I left my friend and the Asian chick to go discover their new found true love. I just hope I don’t get a call from him saying he has to dispose of a body.  He’ll probably be going back to Mexico in the next few days so if a week passes and I get no call, I should be good


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