A Reminder From Dubya and Silent Bob


Crashing into the side of a mountain would not be a good way to go. It would make for a bunch of great stories that other people could tell but it would not be a fun way to die. This is what I reminded myself as the pilot of this vehicle, ‘Dubya’, jolted her car up the Rocky Mountain highway to take us to the little town of Evergreen, Colorado. We were both trying to persuade her smart phone to give us Starship Enterprise-like directions to the saloon her band was playing at that evening-in about 30 minutes. If we pushed it we could make it, but we might smash into the side of some slab of rock so…

Earlier that day I had nixed the idea of going to the mountain town gig. There was a ball of tense situations in the air; I was penniless, all the band members weren’t in much better financial straits and drama of a grade school caliber kept showing an ugly eye – and it was a Thursday, not even the weekend which meant back to work the next day for me. I try to make as many of the venues Dubya’s band plays so I can fulfill my role as her quasi-manager…taking promo pictures, shmoozing the crowd to follow the band online and buy their cd – that kind of thing. They could handle it without me but it makes it easier for her not to have to juggle another hat. Still, I was ready to bail on her when I remembered hearing the words of an inspiring source of mine: Kevin Smith.

For those not too familiar with the name I suggest you go watch one Smith’s many films: Dogma, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Red State – the man has a list of great movies that he directed and wrote, not to mention the numerous podcasts he produces, live lectures, book and scripts he has created. I could go on for pages about his ability to inspire the creative juices inside me but I leave it to the individual to experience the musings of the man known onscreen as “Silent Bob” (from the noted characters in his movies Clerks, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, etc.). What his message to me boiled down to was, go out and create -don’t wait until a guaranteed payment for submission shows up or you may be sitting there for a long time. Have an adventure and don’t look at everything with the analogy of it being useless if it isn’t making you a buck. If you’re only in it for the money, then you’re in it for the wrong reason. This i what I had forgotten.

I recently published my first book, Welcome to the Church, and it seemed as if already I was letting the orgasm I felt from publishing it slip from my mind. I write and illustrate a webcomic – not for the bucks (the thing is free online to view) but because I enjoy the fuck out of drawing it and hearing the reaction from people who enjoy reading it. I love the idea of helping Dubya out with her band, not to get rich (although none of us would shy away from cash) but because the experience always brings about a saga to live within. The show up in Evergreen was great and left me with great tales to tell, like the drunk woman who stumbled upon me outside the saloon and mistook me for the manager of the place. She started pawing over me, mesmerized by the deluded status she has risen me to…of course I played along…as manager of the Little Bear Saloon.
“Sure, I’ll bring that band we had in here last Friday back some time….and what was the name of that band? Uh-huh.”…me, fucking with the drunk chick. Priceless, free entertainment. She was in that glass eyed state where I could have taken full advantage of her but I had to get back in the bar and mingle with the guests who were there for the show. My ride back home was in there as well and I didn’t want to end up the next morning in some strange bed in a quaint little mountain town wondering how the hell I was going to get to work.

By the end of the evening me and all the band members called it a night. They all left me and Dubya in her car in the Saloon’s parking lot, smoking weed, reflecting on the evening’s show. We all had our own life dramas going on but put those issues to the curb for the night. You never know from one day to the next when some crisis will pull it’s ugly dick out and shake it in our face but if you let those crises boil you down to the point of self implosion, you’re doomed. Depression is not a forgiving mistress and demands more and more and sometimes the only escape is to step up and go do something creative, something inspiring. Don’t wait to be told to do it, just go do it. There is no guarantee your efforts will bring you financial success or star-like status, but doing what makes you happy will be the best reward yet. All the other shit is gravy. Everything doesn’t have to boil down to whether or not your motivation turns into tangible, financial profit. The reward of  a remembered experience, a saga to retell to friends, is out there so go find it. Try turning left instead of right. Go to your own fucking mountain town now and then and enjoy your life. It’s the only one we get.


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