Paul Ryan; A Proposed Hypnotoad

For those of you unfamiliar with the animated character ‘Hypnotoad‘, I suggest you go watch an episode of Futurama to get the full brunt of my implied comparison. There is something about Vice Presidential hopeful Paul Ryan that leaves me inquisitive, something about that dead glint in his eyes that reminds me of the mesmerizing amphibian from cartoons-or perhaps something akin to those pod doppelgangers from Invasion of the Body Snatchers. I could see him grilled on some early Sunday morning talk show and when confronted with hard questions, rolls his eyes up in his head and bellows a screech from his snarling maw, pointing at the camera with the fury of Hell itself.

My curiosity led me to delve into the web for stories on this Representative from Wisconsin and that led me down an unending hole of rants, accusations, rumors and more. I was wading through endless blogs and news sites, dizzy from the research (and pot) when all of a sudden I stopped dead at the keyboard and thought ‘what the fuck do I care’? It’s a VP position for Christ sake, who pays any attention to the lackey in the White House? People pay more attention to the Secretary of State or Defense; the Vice President is just some bench warming job that has little, if any, impact on policy. Then I remembered a certain sinister character named Dick Cheney. How could I have forgotten that nefarious Dark Lord of the Sith, the man who wouldn’t let mere heart attacks stop him? Perhaps the 2nd in command is becoming a hidden Queen inside our political system. Many people to this day feel that the real brains running the George W. Bush Administration was Dick Cheney and Karl Rove. I felt those two men were a terrifying force. George W. was a boob. He couldn’t run a bath let alone run the country.

So maybe the recipe of politics now days will be, throw a Ken doll puppet in front of the public…someone good looking and clean cut (remind you of any Mormon you might know?) but keep the real nasty scheming brains behind operations cloaked. Why? Because if you stick the real beast out in front of the camera it may expose itself for what it really is and then any plans for persuasive takeover go right out the door. Almost every President I can remember voting for (or against) took crap daily from the public and ended up spending a good deal of face time addressing issues, actually trying to explain their actions to the public. Not George. They would ask him the tough questions and he’d just shrug it off and imply ‘that’s the way it is-tough fucking darts motherfuckers, I’m off to go do something.’

I plan to keep a wary eye on this situation as it develops because if we end up with another demonic figure, like Cheney, hidden behind the White House walls, I’ll need to start looking for a little place in Juarez to reside.


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