Archive for May, 2012


A Tejano Boost for Romney; the Zombies Reticent Swan Song pt. 1

I had no idea exactly where in downtown Denver I was being dropped off, but as soon as I stumbled out of the Peace van I heard screaming coming from somewhere close. Lots of screaming, men and women-had I smoked too much and imagined this or was it really happening? Then I realized what those deafening, blood curdling cries were about….my friend had dropped me off in the parking lot of Elitch Gardens Amusement Park. I had been riding in the back of one of those old school hippie vans, the kind with no back windows, carpeting on the walls, huge-ass hookah bolted to the floor and speakers blaring out an old classic album I requested, Electric Ladyland…Jimi Hendrix……wave on brothers and sisters, wave on.

Encapsulated national media coverage was raging through my portable electronic newshound, a trustworthy handheld device I carry with me downtown, as well as a bag full of assorted mischief-drugs, weapons, card keys to various buildings in LoDo I managed to scavenge. Time was of the essence. I needed to pace down 16th Street through the heart of Lower Downtown Denver to Colfax and Broadway. I briefly stopped by a Starbucks to highjack some wifi along the way, which is where I ran across the news story predicting Mitt “Filet O Fish White Boy” Romney would take the needed votes out of the Lone Star state to push him over the 1,144 delegates he needs to win that huge primary. If this does happen (as predicted) he will be the bona fide Republican nominee for President of these United States.

I had to get to the zombie camp as soon as possible. These national news stories were certainly entertaining but this was the twenty ninth of May. This was to be the make or break showdown between Denver Police and the Occupy forces, Mile High chapter. One of the zombie leaders had promised me a big shake-up down here today and I wanted my pound of flesh, my gallon of blood. Local law enforcement and various town goons had flocked together and created a ‘no camping’ ordinance which was to be implemented, full force, on this 29th day of May, 2012. This meant they would begin to come down on the Occupiers like a hard rain and begin handing out citations, hauling people off to jail and generally fucking up the works for the street squatters. Damn the distractions of the Ipod stories on the presidential campaign-I could always come back to that later over a hot Americano and some more devil weed. Right now I wanted to see what kind of bloodshed may have befallen the protesting zombie stronghold.

I whisked down the street, not waiting on the LoDo shuttle to show up. I would catch the free service bus that ran the 16th Street corridor as it caught up to me but until then I hoofed it past the street performers and gypsies while Rage Against the Machine blasted through my earbuds:

“So I’m Rollin down Rodeo wit a shotgun
these people ain’t seen a brown skin man
since their grand parents bought one”

 High energy tunes to help me jaunt through the parade of shysters and pimps on 16th. Earbuds help me ignore the pleas for cash or the senseless jabber people throw at me. I keep my focus on the Occupy protesters. They’ve had the entire day to put up a fight or be hauled away, bloodied and beaten. The shuttle does show up and I ride it the remaining blocks that take me adjacent to the looming Denver Post building, that dying dinosaur  tabloid publishing house which sits as a tribute to an era almost forgotten. I begin to relax to a sauntering pace as I close in on Civic Center Park-Zombie Central. Some street dealer tries to sell me some mescaline and although I’m tempted to take a dose and let it get real crazy down here, I check my funds and decline-for now.

Texas going for Romney didn’t surprise me that much and I imagine most of you were not shocked by this tidbit of information. Political rubbish is being passed around regularly leaving us to sort through what is valid, important information to guide our decision on who to pull the lever for, and who to pull against. The eyebrow of interest to raise should be for the Texas Senate race which is heating up right now to take the seat left open by retiring Tejano Kay Hutchinson. It’s turned into a money spending frenzy in the big state of Texas, $25 million reported to have been spent already. There is nothing like watching the devious ploy of a rancid Texas politician, an abomination to stare at with wonder and horrified awe. Those creatures down there waltz around with pig iron balls the size of cantaloupe, the true epitome of Texas pride. I lived in Austin for a number of years and found their politicians to be a dastardly bunch, almost as devious as Chicago politicians-not quite, but pretty fucking close.

I quickly thank the dealer for his offer but pass by and wait for the light to cross Colfax, into the den of self created inequity; the Lair of the Political Zombie.


Press One For English

A local pizza chain that sports a major percentage of Hispanic patrons will soon give away a free promotional pepperoni pizza to anyone that comes in and orders it in Spanish. Some buzz around town by paranoid men and women who sleep with guns under their pillow is they think this is the sinking stone on a doomed American future. This pizza chain just wants to drum up more business; their largest consumer base is Latino families, makes perfect sense to me. The increased marketing to other cultures and groups of people whose primary language is not English will pay off in a global economy and a global economy is becoming more and more evident in our shrinking world.

I tend to take a less popular approach to the ongoing bilingual/multilingual communication fiasco in these United States. You’re putting up a no-win battle folks. Our population, our social structure is mutating, evolving into something neither good or bad, just different. We can either become cognizant of the change and help it form into a mutual consent of cross language cooperation or wander back to the Tower of Babel existence, running ass wild berserk, unable to understand one another.

To arrive downtown I take one of the more (reputed) insane buslines-straight down Colfax. The jaunt starts in the heart of a busy Latino community, houses with families, people buying food and diapers and sundries and all sorts of shit. This is their neighborhood and their inherited language is Spanish, yet many of these households adopt bi-lingual survival skills to get around in both Latino and Anglo communities. This technique, being fluid to your surroundings helps one navigate, understand a larger demographic and be part of a larger global connection.

Right now, if space beings from some far away planet landed saucers on Earth, we would want to learn their language in order to communicate with them. We wouldn’t be so stubborn as to insist they learn English before we talk with them, would we?

Would we?

How long will America try to halt natural progression of a society and at what cost would they be willing to do it? I think one of the most brutal examples of assimilation tactics on a society in our country was the American Indian tribes throughout the U.S.-cut their hair, made them wear different clothes, forced them to learn and speak English and look at them now. Indians have one of the highest suicide rates in our country, rampant alcoholism…tore their culture apart.

It’s a chore to speak another language-English included, but overcoming the language barrier is getting easier all the time. We now have a lot of new tech methods to use as a crutch to conquer this beast. I have a hand held device I can speak English into and it spits out Spanish, written or vocal. The entire app cost me ninety nine fucking cents, a steal for a Star Trek inspired Universal translator.

Open yourself up to a little educating folks, pick up a new language. You don’t have to become fluent, just learn to get around. It’s not a dirty thing to broaden your skills in oration. The anger over this pizza promotion thing is a bit much for me. I’ll go say three words in Spanish and get a free pizza while some just sit there and balk that you’re trying to make them broaden their learning palette. Language usage will transform as our census of people changes, and that’s a reality you can’t change. It’s already happening.


Weasels on the Prowl pt. 2

“The rats are in the corn”
-Abagail Freemantle, The Stand

Yes Mr. President, the rats are in the corn, weasels are on the prowl outside your henhouse. The drugs are beginning to wear off a bit so I should be able to focus on the remainder of this meandering report. The growing problem Barack Obama faces with winning a second term is not Mitt Fish-boy Romney, it is a festering public investigation into the validity of his background. More and more people are jumping on the bandwagon to have the President’s school records, college records and a few other ‘sealed’ documents revealed. Questions arise as to why he was issued a social security number from Connecticut when he wasn’t living there. The danger to Obama’s 2012 campaign with these implied conspiracies is how it portrays the man…forget about prudent policies, his hope and change for America, this strokes at the core of his eligibility to be a President.

 Any street living zombie down on Colfax and Broadway has a shadow; someone to watch their gear while they walk down to the bus station to take a dump or go down 16th to buy smokes, someone to make sure no one rolls you when you’re dead drunk to the world. The Crazy Jesus Lady (read earlier blog posts for details on this individual) was in dire need of her shadow that evening which left me with one less resource to interview. CJL was in another dimension, worse off than I’d ever seen her, clinging to her shadow, barely able to bring a cigarette to her mouth. Maybe it was better that I relied on more cognizant members of the protest clan to talk with. The group in Civic Center park was prepping itself for a May 29th showdown, a swansong make or break protest. The head zombie I spoke with-I believe they call her Big Mama (different from Mama, another notable soul down at the camp), would just smile and tell me to wait and see what happens the day they start enforcing the no camping ordinance downtown but I also saw a slight gleam of doubt in her eye.Any street zombie down on Colfax and Broadway has a shadow; someone to watch their gear while they walk to the bus station to take a dump or go down 16th Street to buy smokes, someone to make sure no one rolls you when you’re dead drunk to the world. The Crazy Jesus Lady (read earlier blog posts for details on this individual) was in dire need of her shadow that evening which left me one less resource to interview. CJL was in another dimension, worse off than I’d ever seen her, clinging to her shadow, barely able to bring a cigarette to her mouth. It was better that I relied on more cognizant members of the protest clan to talk with. The group in Civic Center park was prepping itself for a May 29th showdown, a swansong make or break protest. The head zombie I spoke with-I believe they call her Big Mama (different from Mama, another notable soul down at the camp), would just smile and tell me to wait and see what happens the day they start enforcing the no camping ordinance downtown but I also saw a slight gleam of doubt in her eye. She knew that if they couldn’t get more interest behind the movement, the protest was pretty much a lost hope. The crowd rallied for another protest march that evening and took to the streets with banners, flags and bullhorns to rattle their shields of injustice in the public’s eye. The protest crowd numbered out at about 60 people-they could have had close to two hundred had the street zombie drug dealing skateboarding lost their mind crowd joined in but those squatters weren’t into it; The zombies weaken.

 For every story listing a new accomplishment or constructive statistic in favor of the President, four stories against him pop up on the web. Rumors, truths and blathering gossip hit the electronic highway so fast that by the time the President’s staff tries to run damage control, a new allegation rears up and blind sides them. Hawaii verified Obama’s birth certificate but that doesn’t put a halt to the nay sayers who believe he had a false document created. Recent polls show Romney taking a lead in Florida over Obama and the only mud the President’s camp can manage to dig up is some weak story about Romney bullying people in college. Really? College antics? Regardless how brutal they may have been, that looks pretty lame when you compare it to these scathing reports about the possibility of Obama not being a legal citizen.

 The two-fisted punch to my senses played out well before my eyes and now that the pot/jimson/salvia mixture has dried out of my veins I can end this observation from Pulpit Central (for now) and keep myself ready for the May 29th showdown between Denver police and the zombies. As for the election campaign I will certainly continue to peruse the various media sources in search of more slime, but I continue to stick to the belief that truth will not play as big a factor in this election as you might hope. Massive crowds are gathering behind the ABO slogan (Anyone But Obama) so if the Democrats wish to stay in office another four years, they better retaliate with huge numbers at the voting booths this fall.


Weasels on the Prowl; Zombies Last Hurrah?

Here I go folks, circling in on the latest border wars, reporting to you from Pulpit Central at the Church of the Ass Bleeding Morons. My trusty three dollar glass pipe is at hand and crammed full of this wicked concoction I’ve developed; a quantity of pot, Jimson weed and a bit of 20X salvia…you can buy anything online now days so supplying myself with a moderate amount of datura and salvia is not that difficult. I’m curious to find out if I could order some scopolamine online; why not? Blow some of that wicked Devil’s Breath on my menacing compadre, Eduardo and make him my mortal slave.

So arming myself with some really potent smoking material I made my way downtown over the last few days to take survey on the last lingering days of the Occupy Denver movement at Civic Center Park in the heart of the Mile High City. Between these recent jaunts to Broadway and Colfax I have been keeping tabs on the Presidential campaign, a less motivating election can not be remembered (in my mind). Perhaps the Ford/Carter election came close, that was the first one I remember being able to vote in. Carter was such a shoe-in for the job that the pre-election hooplah was for the most part  a beige colored room of uninspiring flotsam for voters to get behind. Everyone was coming off the betrayal of our nation by Richard M. Nixon, which meant Gerald Ford didn’t stand a chance. Anything with a hint of flavor from that Administration was to be completely wiped off the palette, hence, Carter won the election.

The scene at Broadway and Colfax is a sad sight indeed, especially after the months I had spent seeing the struggle this movement went through-almost a year now. The green grass park that once held tents and banners and protesters now sports debris and rotting food, pigeons and squirrels flock in huge numbers to eat the scraps thrown on the ground by the zombies. The group is looking more feral than ever, a pustluous gaggle of aging skateboarders and mind dead war veterans. Some true activists work hard to try and hold the whole thing together but the ship is sinking fast.

A local radio show talk host here in the Denver area has unearthed a source for the latest attack on the Great Hope and Change, Barack Obama: Andrew Breitbart unleashed a new launch of a smear campaign on the President. A discovered 1991 promotional booklet printed which highlights Obama as having been born in Kenya and raised in Indonesia and Hawaii. This is very much in the classification as a conspiracy at this point, unless more investigation into this pamphlet can be verified. I love a good conspiracy folks, regardless of the truth or lack thereof, conspiracies grease my mind with am insane lust to hear the rest of the story.

I chatted with the best thing to a leader the Occupy Movement has. I can’t remember what her name is, or her street name for that matter. I do know this lady has been arrested as many times, if not more, than any of the protesters down here. So this higher echelon zombie tells me they (the Occupiers) had been busy fighting behind closed doors among city officials, trying to thwart the no-camping ordinance that will start coming into play on May 29. The police are supposed to be enacting their efforts in the LoDo area, only a few blocks away from the established zombie den on Colfax. The Occupier spokeswoman raised her eyebrows at me and put on this shit eating grin. “We’ve got something planned on the 29th”. I tried to get her to elaborate.

I light the pipe back up and ignore any hallucinations that try to distract me. I will finish this report but must give you a break as well as myself, collect and process the information I started to feed you, collect my thoughts, thinking back on my vision from Sunday of the Crazy Jesus Lady in some ruffie-esque fog.


Anticipating the Political Camel Clutch

In retrospect, my comparing this election to a boxing match is a slur on that sport and I withdraw any references to it as such. The 2012 run for the White House is definitely more closely related to WWE. I view boxing as a more refined challenge, dodge and jab, move and counter punch; this race is more about sneaking up behind your challenger with a folding chair and smashing him in the fucking kidney or hammering his head into a turnbuckle. The dirt being thrown around by those who just can’t stand the incumbent Commander in Chief may be taking it’s toll on him. A quick look at the score cards show Romney receiving a fifty percent favorable view by the public, a fact I’m sure many would have scoffed at in early 2011. Denizens on board the active political scene are crying out for documented proof behind the Great Hope and Change’s mysterious past, a resurgence in the birth certificate issue, along with proof of various school records, et al. Colorado Congressman from the 4th Congressional District, Mike Coffman, addressed a fundraiser crowd and during his typical stump speech plea for money, told the audience “I don’t know if Barack Obama was born in the United States or not.” Heavy shit to lay down from a politician’s mouth, something I would more expect from a disgruntled talk show call in fan. The slams and slurs continue while Barack Obama continues to get out there and get things moving, get something accomplished to weigh behind a track record that growing numbers of voters feel is not quite enough.

I feel the President is trying to take a page out of the Bill Clinton book of re-election but what he should be doing is recognizing that the winner in this race may not be the individual who is more qualified or has the best success record. The sad truth is if he wants to win the White House for another term, he needs to make the public hate that big Republican Filet O Fish, Mitt Romney. Obama took the 2008 election not because people thought his track record was that good-truth is, most people didn’t know that much about his performance record. The one thing most people during the ’08 election could agree upon was that George W. Bush was a complete screw-up, which had overwhelming numbers of voters wanting to lash out at the Republican party to stomp it into the ground. Obama had enough charisma to outshine the evil snarling vet, John McCain, but now the tides of politics are faltering and people want to shove an angry fist in the face of those in charge. They have lost their hope and change isn’t happening fast enough….now’s the time for that white bread Mormon to knock him with a few sucker punches, hand him the infamous Camel Clutch hold made so famous by the Iron Sheik.

America is a lot like the crowd at a WWE fight. We have very little patience to sit and wait for effect to take hold. Perhaps a lot of that comes from the fast paced society we have become accustomed to, smart phone technology allows so much of our lives to run at meth-induced levels so maybe we have become so used to instant gratification that we are almost incapable of letting the slow tide of economic recovery take hold…..maybe. Or maybe because of the advancements our tech world has created we have come to know how quickly other things in our lives can get done so why is political gameplay different? Most individuals have a limited amount of time each day to devote to tracking bills being passed or other government affairs, and so many of us end up relying on the fast paced pro media interpretations of what’s on….subjective analysis at it’s most pandered to mentality.

So like it or not, this election seems to be taking a swing to mimic pro wrestling, in my opinion. It doesn’t matter who is best to lead the country, it only matters who the crowd hates the most. Fear not folks, the race isn’t over, so if you are a supporter of the Great H and P, don’t count him out yet. Just like those matches where you thought Hulk Hogan was down for the count, amazing things happened in the world of staged theatrics from those men in tights and we all remember seeing the Hulkster rise from the ground, revived and reborn with the strength of a Mack truck, and we all watched him proceed to unleash a mighty can of whoop-ass on his opponent. Obama could do the same to ole’ Mitt, he just has to prepare himself to get a little dirty…and after all, aren’t we all used to dirty politics by now?


One Vote Up, One Vote Down

The Denver City Council voted on two hot topic items yesterday and now that the ink has dried on those the No Camping ordinance will start being enforced in toto in about a month, leaving time for any of the Occupy zombies, day walkers and assorted misfits to pick up their squalor and vacate the premises; in more specific location terms, Civic Center Park. Qualm assessments from local Plutocrats tell us that this is for the best solution to the growing homeless problem in Denver and the fact that efforts to enforce this law will be focused a block from the state capital is coincidental. I feel the entire Occupy Denver movement has brought this on themselves by allowing the majority of their visual representation on the streets to be led by some pack of feral thugs that preyed on one another for food and cigarettes, caring little about the ‘cause’. That’s another problem with this protest-what is the cause for unrest? What are they fighting for? One of the calmer heads leading the Occupy movement (as of more recent months) told me the protest’s purpose was to be a general announcement to career politicians and corporate fat cats to ‘clean up their act’. That was probably the straightest answer I had ever received.

The second issue voted on was the civil union issue for gay people, allowing marriage between same sex couples to be recognized and ceremoniously performed in the Mile High city; that one got struck down-no Adam and Steve this time around. I thought the progressive political approach here in Denver was up to the task of showing the rest of our country how accepting they are of diverse lifestyles but I guess when it comes to certain interests they are still just a silly little cow town. They are more apt to legalize marijuana-a ballot issue this November- than allow ‘queers’ to marry…..get me high, but no guy on guy.

The No Camping ordinance hit close to my heart, as the whole Occupy movement had become an entertaining issue to behold, like watching your kid learn to ride a bike…the moment when a child finally takes flight on their own, no hands on the seat to help them. I was hoping to see those Occupy mongrels leap up at the throat of society and tear a gaping wound in the jugular, stick it to The Man. They still have the opportunity but lack the initiative. The Occupy movement here in Denver has been reduced to an embarrassing display of futility left in the hands of scoundrels and crackheads. Maybe the summer will bring about a new rally, but as it stands to date, the movement died.

As for the gay couples initiative I feel a sense of loss for that battle too. I have many gay, bisexual and transgender friends and acquaintances that wish only to make it through another day, like so many of us do. We just want to do our job, go home and relax, yet here they have to struggle and fight some battle of morals each and every fucking day. I can’t imagine putting up with shit like that day in day out. I would probably be more abhorred to find out what a lot of supposed ‘normal’ people do behind closed doors, which is why I care very little about the sexual habits of anyone outside my own perimeter. The sanctity of marriage is no more threatened by gay couples than anything put on television , the internet, down at the local mall or bar. Bottom line is, there are only two people that can break up your marriage, and you’re one of those two people.

So once again the individual takes a back seat to the elected official in charge. We blame it on lack of public awareness or personal interaction on specific lawful decisions but where is the media coverage to inform the general public of local issues being addressed before our congress? The ‘mainstream media’, as some are so fond to refer to, ends up being a catch phrase puppet to throw at the masses as the culprit behind not getting things accomplished they way you want them to go. Using the term ‘mainstream media’ to define one’s opposition has become the end all to any discussion on a given subject, like being in the Middle Ages and having someone call you a Heretic….hard to fight a battle of ideals when any logical argument you may have is being handed off to Divine evaluation rather than logical discussion. Most televised news channels now days opt out to tell you how you should feel about any given issue rather than report the news objectively and allow you to mull it over in your mind because they have discovered our emotional knee-jerk reaction to a situation create huge ratings for them, ergo huge profit shares, ergo, keep the station alive. Get people worked up over outlandish claims and accusations and they’ll fuel that hatred into a week’s worth of  program debate on CNN or Fox news.

We can all talk to one another and say if you don’t like the system then vote for a change, but are we really getting any changes we want or simply passing the baton back and forth? Is this a democracy or a constant pendulum motion that swings from one political extreme to the other? Does our vote count for anything more than a new set of heads in our state and federal buildings and a talking point on Sunday morning talk shows? How much is really being accomplished for the common person, by the common person? What have we changed recently? What have our elected officials done for us? Denver politicians  came back with one vote up and one vote down, and now we here are left to live with their decision, no input allowed other than our ability to call some local AM talk show and spew our hatred.  I’m sure readers of this blog, whether they live in this little cowtown or somewhere else, all have local issue they wish to change and wonder if they will ever get the representation they need to sway votes in their favor, but what I wonder is, will we stop being sidetracked by glib banter from our opposing neighbors and actually get in that voting booth?


Una Eleccion Para Los Condenados; An American Neighbor’s Tragedy

Forty nine bodies were found dumped along a Mexican highway approximately 105 miles from McAllen, Texas, heads and arms missing. For nearly six years the two largest drug cartels in Mexico, the Zetas and the Sinaola, have been engaging in a bloody game of whip-ass that has elected officials there at a loss for action.  July 1st will be election day in Mexico and none of the front running candidates can guarantee their public safety from this vicious gangland assault. President Felipe Calderon has been struggling with this madness since 2006 and term limits will see him replaced in about seven weeks by whatever poor sot steps into his office to see that red dot scope pointed at him.  You think we’ve got political balking here with Democrats and Republicans squawking at one another, Tea Party members acting all puffed up and righteous? Mexico is having some real candidate issues folks; this is una elecion para los condenados-an election for the doomed.

Halfway across the globe, gunmen shot and killed Maulvi Arsala Rhamani, a top member of the Afghanistan High Peace Council, the closest thing to a valid negotiator the world had with the Taliban. It was reported that he (Rhamani) was stuck in heavy traffic when a car pulled up and opened fire. Although Rhamani told Reuters that he felt optimistic about progress this year as far as negotiations with the Taliban were concerned, few could call this act as a surprising option. The Taliban feel as though their fundamentalist positions are being ignored by Afghanistan as well as the west and when you play politics with those men, walking away from the table don’t cut it. We continue, after a decade plus of conflict over there to stagnate any true development.

So we in America find ourselves pitted in a lackluster election between two candidates that are supposed to be representatives of this country. Fix our problems we scream at the pols and the reply we get is a fictitious appeasement to squelch our frustrations. Give us affordable health care we moan and they smile and say ‘I’d love to help you, but the other guy’s party is holding us down…sorry.” Candidates gather support from a mass of dullards by uttering the name God, throwing it about like a fix-all mantra, verbal confetti for the masses to wallow in. My view evaluating the effectiveness of our current Administrations, local and Federal, gives them a piss poor grade for accomplishing anything and just as bad a mark for their discernment over structuring the importance of world matters as they stand to potentially affect this country.

Creeping Jesus shit-Mexico borders our southwestern states and still there remains this hushed approach to how our Administration plans to handle the flow over of the Zeta/Sinaola drug wars? In less than a month Mexico has witnessed 14 mutilated men found in a van in downtown Nuevo Laredo, 23 people hanged or decapitated there as well and in Guadalajara 18 dismembered bodies. This heinous fighting will most likely begin to spill over into the United States in a larger capacity than it already has which is why I wonder how important it is  to continue futile negotiations (aka babysitting) and participating in peace conferences with Afghanistan when we have more pressing problems closer to home. We and at least a dozen other countries have sat and tried to make some progress in that land of hostility for going on eleven years now with very little effectiveness. Why aren’t we helping our neighbor to the south in their time of need? This would benefit both the U.S. and Mexico but what political party wants to advocate this? At best they have approached the subject all wrong and come off sounding racist-this isn’t about race folks, it’s about human beings being killed, drug hustlers, innocent people, bystanders and most likely, American tourists.

I hope to keep an eye on this travesty along our southern border as I hope many of you do. I don’t wish to downplay the social injustices of this country or ignore the need for more equal representation in our American cities, but if this situation in the streets of Mexico gets out of hand I really don’t want to rely on our current pick of numb fuckers in Washington to take care of us.


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