21
Mar
12

Ladies and Gentlemen, Tebow-Jesus Has Left the Stadium

I woke up listening to talking head radio trying to focus on what the day’s  subject was while wrestling with the espresso machine. . The call-in diatribe pounding the airwaves revolved around that nasty social media distraction we call football. Normally at this time of year my mind is off season from any gridiron activity as I have other pro sports to focus on, but the recent negotiations involving Pat Bowlen and John Elway (legendary quarterback for the Denver Broncos and current Executive Vice President for Football Operations of said team) finalized a five year, 96 million dollar contract with former Indianapolis Colts quarterback, Peyton Manningm to play for the Denver Broncos. This announcement shocked a huge amount of Mile High fans that had experienced the Second Coming of football last year thanks to the shaky efforts on the gridiron by that hulking Christian media darling, Tim Tebow.
From my observation I found Tebow to be an above average QB for Denver -he did get the Broncos into the playoffs, which is a big bonus for any team, plus I take into consideration the rocky start he had, thrust into the starting position as a disgruntled Kyle Orton left the team. Post season play brings more cash to the owners and gives the average Joe and Jane additional eye candy to numb the senses so it was no surprise that most Bronco fans were pleased with Tebow, even those that scoffed at the religious following he attracted were happy. The paranoid hysteria increased with each game that took Mile High fans closer to the Big Enchilada. Fervent fans crossed their fingers and prayed to this demigod to let the team win one more game.
With every player transition comes a rash of support, opposition and madness from crowds of fans that feel they have all the answers to catapult their team into the winner’s circle; Denver is no different. Huge scores of Tebow fans are sobbing now, a scene akin to Elvis leaving for the Army. Zealous Christian supporters and misdirected housewives are saddened and distraught, their youngsters no longer have the Lamb to look up to and admire, no role model to say their prayers for. Naysayers are calling the incoming pro quarterback ‘Satan Manning’ without ever having seen the man play longer than a few seconds on NFL highlight footage and they’re ready to string his ass on a cross.
 I don’t know how many times I’ve explained this to people and still a large group of them don’t get it; God doesn’t give a rat’s ass about football. Any God that would focus on a pro league team with the largest percentage of praying devotees, while neglecting the rape and genocide in Africa, is not a God to follow folks. As far as role models go, football players are unstable animals that should not be trusted outside the boundaries of a chalk lined field. They breathe testosterone out their nose and swallow violence to survive this game of  tug and tussle. They are performers to entertain you not Jesus in pads and helmet. If you really want a sport to let your kids watch, take them to a good hockey game. hockey is the definitive example of team effort and tenacity. Hockey is the only sport I have watched live where the crowd will applaud both teams whenever someone on either team performs well-THAT is true sportsmanship.
 The dust will settle on the Tebow-Jesus/Manning story and we’ll all forget about it until fall, just about the time our presidential race should be in full kicking gear. Perhaps we should view our politicians in this same light and remember that God does not sit there with a scale weighing your devotion to him like Anubis, punishing those that don’t meet the quota. God’s love is supposed to be unconditional. Gang fucking a prayer out on to the field will not guarantee a win in the NFL-watch old footage of Roger Staubach sometime, learn from that old Christian fart that bombed the big one on a regular basis. In that same vein, massive Christian prayers will not ensure the survival of America over other countries. Praying may well help you sleep at night, but don’t bank on it for all the answers and help. If God wanted us to be a nation of subservient drones….he would have made us all Raider fans.
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