08
Mar
12

-And Now a Word From Command Central

I’m sitting smack in the middle of my political watchdog headquarters trying to sort through this daily barrage of campaign dribble….must sort the wheat from the chaff. God I wish I had a ball of brown opium the size of my thumbnail or some hardcore drug to cope with the multitude of bad, good and indifferent stories piling in. Mainlined heroin would be a bit too strong. Going on the nod hits you quick and hard leaving you with no desire but sleep, that’s too heavy for my needs. A puff or two of some opium would bring me into a lulled state of nirvana where I could sort through the AP wire updates and hourly diatribes Fox News shits out. I try to sort through stories from Al Jazeera, CNN, New York Times, The Post… I can’t get this political monkey off my back; I might be suffering from an overdose of politics and yet, as soon as I walk away something really candid or mind blowing stupid shocks the Internet and I wallow in it like a pig in mud; the horror of politics in America.
This is only March and the big showdown isn’t due for eight months. I wonder how long this variety show the Republican candidates put out will continue before the public burns out on press coverage and debates, causing them to go back to watching reality tv shows or indulging in marathon online chat sessions. I keep my eyes focused on news updates constantly, wherever I can, whenever I can. I’m never without technology to hook online, searching out the best free WiFi spots in town like some nasty remora to latch on for power, an energy vampire trying to stay juiced up and plugged in. Jaunts to the downtown Starbucks for a vente latte and a quick sneak off to their restroom for herbal revival.

Super Tuesday updates put Romney back in the top slot although it seemed like one of those hold your nose and vote moments that put him there. The candidacy is still ripe for the picking and Santorum knows it. Ron Paul clings on the national scene like a turd stuck on a hairy dog’s ass, he won’t be shaken free. I still don’t know where to categorize that fellow. He’s not a Fat Cat, not a religious nincompoop….scary sly? Something continues to let him press on and keep close stride next to the big boys. Whatever it is I’d like to see him rise to the top for a week or so just to view his power trip.

God I really need get financial backing to hit the Republican Convention down in Florida, all jacked up on rum and café con leche; stumbling through a sea of Republican manatees in strange hats, shouting senseless catch phrases back and forth….eight more months of this insanity….the horror. My twisted eye will be peeled to local politics as well. This fall will bring legalization of marijuana on the ballot in Colorado this year. If it wins and there are no Federal setbacks it could mean a lot of dancing in the streets ere, as well as a huge migration from the other 49 states to beat a path over to the Mile High City. It’s like some crazy fucked up Cowtown out here. Half Marlboro Man, half Counting Crows. The city is pretty much used to the herb scene ere and treats it like Amsterdam treats their heroin addicts-turn a blind eye and let it go on, no harm done if no harm seen. Just yesterday while waiting for the bus a guy waiting with me pulls out a blunt and lights up right there on the street. No foul called…I think people would have been more offended by cigarette smoke in their face.

Yes eight more months of political satire to digest-and the real shit-kicking festival hasn’t even begun. Wait until it’s party vs. party, that’s where the really outlandish stories could erupt. More ripples in the pond are surfacing about Obama’s birth certificate, closer scrutiny making it’s way to the media jackals. There’s even a quick blurb about Sarah Palin possibly making a jump back into the scene-personally I’d rather see Bachmann again. Palin was just annoying; Michelle, she was a true beast to behold. Her eyes are like Medusa. I love it when she looks right in the camera and utters out some outlandish statement that just makes my mouth go dry. What a nice, weird, slow screw this is becoming friends….and now, back to your life, already in progress.

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