Rush Limbaugh, Weasel of the Year

Oh Rush, you pot bellied political nazi, you did it good this time. America’s number one conservative radio talk show host managed to shove his foot all the way to the back of his mouth, choking his uvula and making himself throw up. Calling female law student Sandra Fluke a slut was just the ignition needed to start a firestorm of angry calls to his affiliate stations. Sponsors started abandoning the radio giant, leaving him a somber, apologetic whale, beached on the shore hoping enough people would push him back in the water. What will happen to the voice of conservative talk radio now?
These are the times that really test the patience of those who hate the man. The constitutional right to free speech bullies up against the possibility of slanderous statements made against Fluke. A vast group of folks out there want that fat man’s head on a pike, blood and OxyContin dripping from his lifeless eyes, a warning to other would-be advocates of such harsh words that ‘we won’t tolerate it anymore’. Kill the opposition and no one will oppose you. The problem is, once you start prohibiting the opposition from speaking, what’s to stop them from prohibiting you? Believe me I wanted to grab a torch and seek out this Frankenstein’s monster; then I remembered Limbaugh has First Amendment rights like anyone else. If the Constitution works for the Klan, it works for anyone, including Rush Limbaugh.
Rush swallowed his pride (and perhaps a hand full of pills) and issued a formal apology in an effort to save what advertisers of his show he could muster. This isn’t the first time he’s had to do it and it won’t be the last. He belittled President Carter’s daughter, Amy, President Clinton’s daughter, Chelsea, and Jerry Garcia had barely passed away when Limbaugh aired his thought’s about the Grateful Dead leader’s death-“just another dead junkie.” A real gutless snake to go after little girls and the deceased. He’s probably afraid to personally apologize to Ms. Fluke for fear that she’ll beat his bulbous ass to a pulp. The man has been a P.T. Barnum style snake oil salesman that babbles out his conservative screed for a few decades and continues to raise hackles wherever he goes, but I don’t want to drive him off the air. I don’t want to get rid of him any more than I do Pat Robertson or Ted Haggard. I’m all for keeping these psychotic Angels of Doom around as examples to the living, sane world of just how evil and twisted some people can be. Limbaugh is dangerously charismatic to the slight of mind but if not him then some other carney barker would make his way onto the airwaves and gather the lost souls of ineptitude. Let him continue to curse the airwaves and be the legendary Boogeyman to warn children of. Watch him grow old and feeble, like Robertson, a weak little man mumbling to himself in the corner, frustrated at the loss of his facilities.

Rave on, you behemoth of AM radio. Your followers numbers are dwindling so why should we let you become a martyr for hard core Christian groups and conservative lemmings by denying you the freedom of speech? I would rather see you wisp away like smoke, a slow trickle into the night air, a dog’s fart that matters not anymore. Rave on you weasel.


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