A Mad Stone’s Effect on Saint Torum

Following the political scene reminds me of smoking pot. If you do it every day the total buzz effect is not as enriching as if you wait a few days to partake. You tend to forget that when you’re caught up in the middle of it but once you restrain from it and jump back in, the high is so much more enjoyable. I gave myself a break from the campaign scene for a while and kept distracted with sickness and other acts of violence before jumping back into the realm of the Republican fiasco taking place throughout the country as the undecided voters wrestle with the decision of who to put before the voting populace.

Mitt Romney seemed to have the Republican nomination in the bag and the Democratic warriors took sword in hand ready to strike at the beast when all of a sudden, the hydra turned it’s head and we were once again faced with the daunting Pennsylvania political pundit, Rick Santorum. Every time I feel a candidate has turned up dead in the water they resurface to scare me once more. That energy a re-emerging candidate gets from any reborn interest (fabricated or real) thrown in their face tends to quell the desperation of fighting for pole position and lulls them back to their personal political agenda, like a mad stone taking away the effects of rabies in a bitten man. Each candidate will momentarily slip into a realm where they actually believe they are the Commander of our nation and begin to spew forth a litany of dogma and visions for the future that can knock them back down in the polls or increase their popularity. So far none of the GOP front runners has held the latter that long. The initial reports that showed Newt Gingrich in the lead weeks ago went down quick once he declared his desire to make the Moon the next state of our union (I can’t believe he actually said that-fiction doesn’t get any crazier…).

So at the moment, Rick is riding high on the numbers posted to bring him in the lead. He’s been busy reiterating the Gospel according to Saint Torum and adding to the flavor of his speeches with new found accusations and superstitions. He bravely proclaimed the President’s agenda to be based on “some phony theology” and accused Mitt Romney of ear mark financing to bail out the Salt Lake City Olympic Games; a typical political move where you point your finger at your opponent’s faults yet leak out very little of your own political plans…and what are Rick’s political plans for a Santorum Administration? We’re beginning to see more and more of the type road he may choose to walk down by listening to his supporters. A top follower of the Pennsylvanian suggested women use aspirin as a means of birth control (hold the aspirin between their legs to prevent pregnancy) and I’m confident that more screaming banshees will come out of the woods to give Rick and the world their two cents on how this country should be run. On top of that you can be sure that the Chicago mob boys that swing bats for the Obama team will be busy thumbing through the fine print to bring out any new dirt on Ricky; his 2005 book, It Takes A Family, will certainly bring out some hard core ‘keep’em barefoot and pregnant’ mentality to slide Santorum back down in the polls again.

So which head will the hydra present to the voting nation once Santorum is defrocked? Another round of Romney? Ron Paul showed a momentary burst in the Maine polls, perhaps he will have his turn as the threatening head of the beast. Can I bear to put the political bong down for a few days to get a really good buzz or will I mindlessly follow it daily like a bad joint habit? My God it isn’t even spring yet and already my arms itch.


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