A Cholo Netherworld pt. 2

All I really wanted to do that evening was watch the freaking State of the Union and here I was in this dirty ass bongmobile in front of some vatos home that Ed was approaching with a gun in his hand. Scenes like this will sober you up real quick and in spite of Eduardo’s request for me to pull my hood up, I left it down and pasted my face close to the window. I did not want anyone mistaking me for a gangbanger. Some hefty looking Chicano comes to the door and Ed steps back from the porch and is arguing with the guy. A minute or so passes and Ed takes his gun, aims it at the ground and pops one off for emphasis. Now this other guy has real cajones because after that he just turns around slow and goes back in is house. Ed is standing there with the smoking gun-literally-but a few moments later Nestor comes out and Ed starts in on him like a mother hen. They both come back to the car and I get to enjoy the argument all the way back to Ed’s casa.

The argument those two had about Nestor wanting to join the Marines became intertwined with our watching the recap of the State of the Union, more killer weed and some home made quesadillas. My one nice payback for Eduardo was a present I graced him with. Earlier that day my boss gave me a couple of these high fiber health oat bar snacks that taste delicious but because of the high dose of fiber in them you are only supposed to eat one a day; I found that out the hard way a while back and remember those moments on the john. I gave Ed two of the bars knowing the weed would make him chow down both those things. I didn’t need to be there to know that hours from then he would be squatting it out.

The State of the Union went on pretty much as I anticipated but I do enjoy watching them. It’s a lot like watching the Oscars. Same faces show up, formal affair, positive speeches, not too many surprises and at the end of the evening everybody claps and goes home. As for the actual content of the Great Hope and Change’s speech I found it to be a great presentation and full of point at the screen and giggle moments. His milk spill joke really brought the house down (yes, that’s sarcasm people). The cameras did the usual ‘pan to the most relevant person in the House Chamber at this moment’ routine. If the President, any President giving a SOTU speech, goes on about our military, then you’re going to get a shot of the Generals sitting there. If he talks about laws and court rulings the Supreme Court is there to pan to. If there is some controversial issue that a particular Senator opposes the President on, you can be assured that the camera will focus on him when our Supreme Leader gives a dignified mention of the subject. I wish just once when some elected official is pictured on the tube he would scowl and shake his fist at the President like some nefarious super villain. They had to have the tender moment of the night which showed Barack Obama hugging Gabby Giffords. They couldn’t help but have a few good shots of John Boehner and Joe Biden as they sat in the background like trained monkeys. Biden didn’t know what to do with himself but did manage to keep from falling asleep. Boehner gave the courtesy applause when needed and I swear there was one time when he rubbed his gums like he just did some cocaine. Boehner is no crazier than any other Speaker of the House that has to sit back there, lest you forget Nancy Pelosi; that lady was something else to watch seated back there with those Betty Davis ‘I want to kill you later’ eyes.

Edaurdo, Nestor and I traded comments the rest of the evening as if the whole gun popping incident never took place and we actually had some pretty meaningful dialogue. I think that’s why I hang around Eduardo so often. In spite his insane exterior there are moments when I break through to him. It’s like being able to speak with the dolphins; for a moment you actually feel as if you’re getting through. As to the weight of the content in the President’s speech I will not trade stats, exaggerations and kudos that may have been presented. I still believe my credo of describing most politics and politicians now days holds true; monkeys chasing monkeys. If they ever sat down together and devised a plan we would all have great health care, good jobs and flying cars but as long as partisanship plays favor to progress, we will remain in a void of futility. The way to fix our country is not via the President, it is through the House of Representatives.


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