The Republican Shuffle: Another One Bites the Dust

“Lost the culture, the culture lost

Spun our minds and through time

ignorance has taken over”

-Rage Against the Machine, Take Back the Power

Here it is just mid January and the Republican ring of hats tossed in the power circle is down to five. Former Ambassador to China and 16th Governor of Utah Jon Hunstman calls it quits. What we’re left with is an interesting menagerie of power hungry white men trying to nudge their way into the White House. Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich and Ron Paul keep punching at the platform coming up with the most interesting spin of political nothingness. They’re all getting a bit nervous wondering if they will be the next to get axed which makes for some real carnival atmosphere, barkers vying for your hard earned dollars and support against the Great Hope and Change one of them will face come November. The stiff shirt approach to being a gentleman about things is loosening somewhat which brings out the real crazy inside them while CNN  and other media pimps blast it over the airwaves.  The candidates remind me of a baby photographer picking up various toys and shaking them at some infant to get a reaction, not really sure what squeezy thing will make the child smile. Newt Gingrich never fails to give full blown entertainment to any debate by producing wild accusations to throw at Mitt Romney like some zoo ape flinging his own shit in frustration. Perry is wary about stepping too far out of line and getting caught up in some war over facts or subjects he knows nothing about.

Yes it’s a real side show up there for all to view and the one thing on the back of most people’s mind is, who the fuck are we going to vote for? Look at these guys! Romney continues to bring in the numbers but most people I speak with shrug their shoulders wondering how he does it. Saying you’re a Gingrich supporter immediately qualifies you as insane and most conversations stop there. The problem is that all those opposed to the Great Hope and Change point their finger and say what Obama has done wrong or is doing wrong, but no solid, constructive plan is rallying voters to take down the Democratic incumbent. Anyone can sit there and bad mouth the other fellow but who’s coming up with a semi-valid proposal to get this country on it’s feet again? Any swinging dick can accuse you of not making the baby laugh, but what toy are they picking up to make the kid smile?

As tax time rolls around this year I predict the five political hopefuls will be whittled down to four or three and by summer time we should have our GOP hopeful. Who will that be? Who’s to say. I’m surprised Perry has hung on this long but if I were a betting man I’d say he’ll probably cave in next-him or Paul. I don’t see Paul caving in though, he may switch and become Independent but the Ron Paul cult is growing and not about to give up easy. If, by some strange twist of fate, Newt Gingrich does become the final candidate standing, I would suggest looking out the window one last time, one last breath of air, then bear down real hard and pop that vein to your temple.


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