A Solicitous Campaign Trail; Perry’s Big Taste of Dementia

“..There’s a party over here,

a party over there,

wave your hands in the air,

shake your derriere…”

-Tag Team “Whoop There It Is”

 November ninth of this year gave our nation an historic observation of pure political humor unmatched since the days of Gerald Ford or Dan Quayle. Presidential hopeful Rick Perry stumbled across the microphone to blurt out what should now and forever more be referred to as a ‘Perry’.  Campaign analysts everywhere scurried about to cover the Republican’s sheepish bow out of a brain fart that exploded over the airwaves. You kind of felt sorry for the guy, but a lot of you kind of felt like it was overdue . The current Governor of Texas had that momentary lapse of memory like a man on the verge of senility, shaking his head trying to remember that one key factor in his pounce down statement aimed at Ron Paul. Paul thought he would help the Governor but only added to the confusion by suggesting five government agencies rather than three should be ‘gone’. I applaud Ron Paul for seeing the opportunity to befuddle Perry, thus getting rid of a top contender for the Republican nomination. I suspect Paul may be secretly sabotaging each of the candidates to leave himself available as the only choice left. Sad to say, Rep. Paul doesn’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell at being a viable Republican candidate. He has too many feelings.

So the struggle continues within the GOP ranks to bring a strong challenger to face the mighty Hope and Change. Obama can (at this point) pretty much sit back and have a smoke and let Perry and Gingrich and the rest of that slag group kill themselves. No one, whether right or left in political affiliation, would feel comfortable at leaving the reigns in one of these Republican’s hands. They’ve waded through their fodder and had relied on one of these candidates to rise to the top but every one of them continues to stumble before the masses. The best part was when Perry was once again asked to define the three agencies he would eradicate and he couldn’t. He looked down for a moment with that shit eating grin and pursed his lips to the mic and said ‘Oops.”

Priceless. Oops. I was taking a large swallow of liquid at that moment. Earlier that day I had ingested a handful of antihistamines, the good kind they cook meth from, which leaves a person very dehydrated. Water shot out my nose when I heard that oops and it took me a minute or two to recover. Oops? Really? If I were to imagine myself running for the highest office in this country and had to present myself before the millions of people deciding whether or not to vote on me, the last thing out of my pie hole would be the word ‘oops’.

Yes, I would have to say the Democrats are pretty well seated to take another four years away unless something really drastic pops up to sway public opinion and I mean something really horrorshow. People have a tendency to cling to their ideals and as sore as a lot of the Obama supporters may feel about the lack of progress, they will not relinquish power to the enemy. The Democratic opposition tried early on to discredit President Obama with scathing pictures of him dressed in Muslim garb but that was a mere tittle in the eyes of most voters. They now need something a lot more powerful than that. How powerful? Supporters of Penn State were rioting in the streets recently in support of their collegiate football leaders even when faced with evidence that a member of the staff was anal raping young boys….that’s pretty hard core devotion. Get working GOP, you need a master plan that will associate our president with some really nasty stuff. I don’t even think murder would do it at this point. Actually if they were to catch President Obama saying ‘oops’ while explaining why a bunch of drone bombers took out a town of civilians in Canada, that might tie the playing field.

I plan to head back down to the scene of the Occupy Denver clan soon but needed a break from that roller coaster event. I drove by this past weekend and the police had squad cars lining the park, parked on the grass, creating a no-camp zone off Broadway and Colfax. As the winter months loom ahead I imagine the strength of that movement may go into hibernation; there might be some true fan zombies who pitch tent when the tall snow comes to Denver, we’ll see.


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